Drive

*** Warning...Proud Papa Story ***

Last weekend, we went to Playmobil Fun Park with the kids.  The weather was bad, and we thought it would be a nice end to the long Easter weekend.

In the park, they had a sort of race track, where you could either race with pedal powered tractors or go carts.  The folks in charge would take the kids that wanted to race with the tractors...and let them do 3 laps.  Then it was go cart time, with the kids racing 5 laps.  Quinn has probably ridden on these toy pedal powered tractors, but he has never been on a pedal powered go cart.

While I was off with Emily, Quinn had his first race or two, and when he and Eva met up with us, he was super excited:  he won a race - even against much bigger kids.  Naturally I was happy.

On our way back, Quinn wanted to do it again...to show me how he could ride.  First it was the tractors, then the go carts.  He was in the 2nd or 3rd row at the start, and he pedaled like a mad man.  You should have seen the look on his face, trying to overtake the other children, and then finally the big kid in the lead.  After he won, the guides let the kids stand on a sort of podium.  Quinn stood in his first place, proud as a peacock.

Then the same thing happened, this time with the go carts, which could go much faster.  The older boy (perhaps 8 or so) had the lead for 3 laps, but then ran out of gas...and Quinn ended up beating him by about a half lap.  Same sinister look on his face.  Same pride standing on the victory stand.

This happened one or two more times.  Of course, I was totally proud to see my son not only win, but to see him strive to win.

Eva and I have talked about how we tended to be very internally driven people:  wanting to win in sports or in the classroom.  And we often discussed how a certain measure of drive can be a very beneficial quality, but how too much can also lead to negative effects.  How can we instill this 'right' amount of self motivation to our kids?  How can we encourage it?  How can we nurture it?  While we saw certain amounts of drive from Quinn when he started kindergarten (e.g. wanting to be first in line), we somewhat thought this was normal.

What Quinn showed last weekend was pure drive.  A pure excitement in competition...and in winning.  I don't know  how Quinn got this, and perhaps this is a fleeting moment that will disappear.  Is it in his genes?  Did a previous event show him this benefit of being driven.  Or, is he searching for attention, and sees this as a way to get it from us?

As parents, we will continue to struggle with these questions, but a huge challenge and responsibility lies before us:  taking this seed, this excellent quality called 'drive', and nurturing it to the 'right' balance, allowing him a valuable measure of self motivation, but not too much that leads to burnout or disappointment when one fails ... or too much that leads to arrogance when one succeeds.

Time will tell...