...the end of an era...

Tonight was the end of an era with Quinn. While the next stages will come and go, the fact that this one ends is very emotional for me.

For the last 18 months, just about every night that I was home, I put Quinn to bed. The routine changed slightly, but the end was always the same: I would sing to Quinn. When he was still taking a bottle, I would feed him his bottle, which is about as intimate of an experience that a father can have with his child. I would then rock him in my arms to the same song that I've sang to him over the last 18 months: We Bid You Goodnight.

As with much of the music from the Greatful Dead, the song has long, folk roots, and this song was no different.

The last few months, Quinn learned to hug, and he would almost only do this before I sang to him, giving me one of his 'Quinnie Hugs'. Words simply cannot describe how simply beautiful the world is, when Quinn would put his arms around my neck, all bundled up in his PJ's, and give me his 'Quinnie Hug'.

I would then sing his song, tell him something that he did that day that I liked, put him to bed, pull the string on his duck, sing the last verse, and slowly leave his room.

Last week, we took out two bars from his crib so he could crawl out himself, and he immediately noted the change, and it changed our evening routine a bit. He wanted to go quicker to bed, no hug, and no song.

As this phase comes to an end, I'm sure I'll still get to sing to him with him in my arms...from time to time. As songs get replaced by telling goodnight stories, I'm sure I'll learn to love this phase of our evening routine as well.

...but I'll never forget the simple, intimate beauty of rocking my son to sleep, his arms around my neck, singing our song...

For those of you that have never heard the song, please see a pretty good version from the Dead below. Thank you for letting me share this milestone with you...and thank you for reading.